How I Dated My Aaron: Part Two

This is where the story gets rather personal for both Aaron and I. I'm not exactly sure how to write it. The previous entries where written rather quickly, with not much thought, and lots of giggles at the gushy language I was using as I re read what I was writing rather dramatically, to Aaron.

At the risk of taking away the 'real' story by leaving all the personal out, I don't know just quite how to write this. It wouldn't be right without all the details. And yes, I'm completely aware that I'm changing tense and perspective all over the place; deal with it.

I walked into my house, soaking wet, tears still streaming down my face. I flung open the door and stomped my way to my room, flung myself onto the bed and laid looking up at the ceiling. My dear roommate gave me a big hug and offered to go on a run with me. We took out the door and we ran all the way to 7-11. As we rounded the entrance of the 7-11 I bought anything I could get my hands on and starting eating. Eating-the best medicine for heartache. On our way back from 7-11 we took a pit stop in the ocean, in the pouring rain and I swear my heart was so heavy it was making me sink.

Three days passed rather slowly. I felt as though I was on a carnival ride, circling round and round the dizzying scenes about me. Occasionally I would pass Aaron's face in the chaos but it would disappear as quickly as it surfaced. I was confused, not sure where to get off. Conversations where held with forced smiled as roommates put a comforting arm around me; you'll get over it they said, you'll move on. I was confused as to why I felt so sad when I knew I had done what I needed to do.

On the third day of my life in the haze, I decided to take a drive. As I loomed down the straightaway past Aaron's house (an unavoidable path) I noticed a hooded creature walking on the opposite side of the street. He wasn't wearing any shoes, ipod in ears, looking down. As I approached closer, he looked up, it was Aaron. I think my heart broke into a million pieces. What was he doing? It was pouring rain! Where are his shoes? I didn't stop. I was too nervous-- I wasn't even sure if he had seen me.

A sleepless night followed with visions of a lost boy, walking in the rain. What had I done? Later that afternoon as I sat on my pity pot, my phone rang. Aaron was flashing on my phone.

Aaron? Aaron.

I answered, like before, rather shyly and nervous.

'Hello??" I hesitantly said

"Hi."

"Hey." I replied

"How's it going?"

"Um, that's kind of a dumb question." I retorted

"Oh, right. Well, uh sorry. Yeah, I was just calling because I've heard nothing from you for the past three days and I was wondering how long of a break you meant. I can't do this whole waiting thing anymore."

My heart sank. He really believed that I had meant, a BREAK. Like in a week I would call him. I was going to have to do this all over again. But almost instantly I felt like I had to see Aaron. Now. Had to.

"Can I come over there and talk to you?"

"Sure."

My brain was working so hard as I was driving that I'm not sure I obeyed any traffic laws. I would have run someone over if they stepped in front of my car because I just don't think I would have seen them. I was in my head, stuck in the folds of my brain.

When I arrived at Aaron's house, I took the familiar route into his room, and found him playing his guitar. When I walked in, he smiled that cute little smile that melted my heart every time. I could still feel the butterflies.

As we started to talk Aaron spoke of what went through his brain over the last three days. I had caught him in a transitional state in his life, not sure which way to go, and somewhat stuck in a rut of the transition; happy with surfing, working, and eating. He had no one to please but himself. He was over the dating scene. So, he had decided he would live on the beach and become an old, scary, leathery father ocean dwelling man.

When I broke up with him, his world was somewhat turned upside down. He cared about me more than he ever thought he would but he knew there was nothing he could do to keep me; in his own words, he felt he had nothing to offer me. Within hours of my walking out on him, he was determined to make a change, to get motivated about life again, to prove to me that he was worth it. His soul had been awakened and my soul heard the noise.

As I sat starry eyed listening to him explain his change of heart, his motivation--all because of me, I felt in my heart of hearts that this was the reason I had-had to break up with him. Aaron needed a kick in the pants, and that was the only thing that would have done it.

Tears began to steam down my face as Aaron said

"And whether or not you decide to date me from here on out, I'm still going to do all these things I've told you I want to do (start school again, carry out certain goals etc.). I'm doing it for me. I have to."

He stared at me for a second. I answered his stare as we both waited for someone to make the next move.

I stood up, walked over to him, put my hands on his shoulders so my face was square with his and said "I still want to date you. And you're good enough for me." I knew he would do everything he said he would. Our hearts where connected. It was in that moment I knew that this was the beginning of the end of my life as an on the market person. The man I'd pictured in my head as a child, the person who would be mine forever, the one I would love forever- was staring straight back at me.

************

The next few weeks ensued a somewhat undercover relationship. We were still getting to know one another and hadn't made our relationship public. Although we went everywhere together and I'm sure everyone knew we were dating, we hadn't been seen anywhere besides my house holding hands or being couple like.

As we walked up to the looming CAC I could hear the roar of the crowd. "SEA SIDE EEERRRRSSS1" over and over and over again. It was nearing the end of the basketball season and it sounded like the entire school was present, ready to cheer their team on to victory.

Aaron grabbed my hand as we got out of the car and made the walk up to the front doors. As we got closer to the front doors, Aaron sensed my nervous-ness. He looked over at me and said

"Is this okay with you?" Signally to his hand holding mine.

"Is THIS okay with YOU?" I whipped back at him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." he sideways smiled at me.

Aaron flung the front entrance door open and we walked into a stadium full of our peers, hand in hand; declaring to the entire study body that I was now his, and he was now mine.

Stay tuned for: The I love Yous, the TWO proposals (dun dun duuunnnn!), and the engagement....